Something
by joanofarc15
Summary: 'If being gay were a choice she would choose Karolina. "Stupid genetics," Nico mumbled to herself'


Wrote this a while ago and decided to finish it tonight.

Ended up being shorter and sadder than I had originally meant it to be.

But it felt right when I finished it so I'll leave it how it is. 

**"Something"**

Obsession wasn't the word.

Or, at least, it wasn't the one she wanted to use. Because only crazy psycho people became obsessed. And she wasn't crazy psycho people. She just wanted to be with Karolina all the time. All the time.

Ok, Nico groaned and shifted her head to rest against her left hand, maybe it was obsession. Just a little light obsession.

Karolina flipped the pizza dough up in the air and caught it again with a triumphant yelp.

Nico couldn't help but smile.

"Excellent reflexes, love," Xavin approached behind K and lay his hands on her shoulders.

Nico couldn't help but frown.

He-Xavin shifted into She-Xavin and reached around to give Karolina a peck on the cheek.

Nico snorted.

Karolina turned her head slightly and squinted her eyes. She was still mad.

Nico rolled her eyes and rose from the table.

"Wanna help me put the toppings on, Molly?" Nico heard Karolina ask as she retreated back to her room.

"Sure thing 'Lina. But no mushrooms 'kay?"

"How about some of the spinach?" Karolina asked.

"And I thought my parents were evil…" Molly mumbled.

* * *

They had gotten the spinach at the Hollywood Farmer's Market that day. They'd also gotten into an argument; a big one. It was one that seemed to happen over and over again lately.

Karolina and She-Xavin had been holding hands. Alone, Karolina received plenty of stares but together it was like there was a huge neon sign pointed right at them. Incognito wasn't happening so much even with the dark glasses they wore. It just made them look more like celebrities. Hot lesbian celebrities.

Xavin had wandered off to look at the tomato plants. He wanted to start a garden of all things.

Nico used the moment to approach Karolina from the side. "Do you think you guys could chill with the PDA. You're drawing attention."

Karolina's brow furrowed. She looked like she was about to cry.

Nico sighed. Karolina could be so sensitive sometimes.

But Nico had misjudged.

"What, so I can't even hold hands with my girlfriend because these people are homophobes?" Karolina had pushed her sunglasses up to her forehead, her aqua blue eyes staring at Nico fiercely.

Chase took this moment to chime in, "No, you can't hold hands because you are crazy hot. And hot chick plus second hot chick is always going to get a double take," Chase shoveled some more free pluots into his mouth and handed some to Molly as well. "Eat these so you don't get scurvy."

Karolina huffed at him. "And what if people have a problem with me holding hands with my _black_ boyfriend?"

"Then you don't hold hands," Nico was looking down at her feet. She could practically feel Karolina's whole body tighten beside her.

"Maybe I should just take my bracelet off," Karolina hissed at her and put her sunglasses back on.

Chase had backed away. He was an idiot but he wasn't stupid. No way he was getting in the middle of this one.

"Anything else you want me to be ashamed of or have we covered it all?" Karolina said nonchalantly as she kneeled down to look at some lilies.

Nico's lips tightened. This was so unlike Karolina.

"Look, K, it's not like that. Whether or not its right or wrong it's drawing more attention to us and that's always a bad thing."

Karolina nodded and stood. "So is this your undercover disguise then?" Karolina asked as she gestured to Nico's elaborate outfit, "You look like you stepped out of a Tim Burton movie."

There was silence between them for a moment.

She thought Karolina liked the way she dressed.

Xavin had chosen that moment to come back. She was holding a tomato plant in each hand. She lifted them up and grinned, "for the garden!" she said with a huge smile.

Karolina's face broke into a grin and she approached and planted a kiss firmly on Xavin's lips.

And, like clockwork the stares came. Lots of stares.

Nico was fuming. Chase approached from behind and poked her in the ribs. "See boss, I told you. Hot plus hot equals hot squared," he popped an orange slice into his mouth.

"Check your math again, amigo. Hot _times_ hot is hot squared, " Victor corrected.

"Don't call me amigo, butt-munch."

"Don't call me butt-munch, amigo."

Molly had snuck away from them and was busy petting a baby goat. Klara was nowhere to be seen.

Mother Nico shifted her attention from the rebellious teens for a moment. "Can you babies stop arguing and babysit like you're supposed to?" Nico sighed.

Chase whirled around and pointed to Molly, "Mine's right there! Where's your's?" Chase asked Victor with a grin.

"Crap," Victor mumbled as he went off in search of Klara.

Nico turned back to Karolina but she had already walked away. They were strolling through the market, arm in arm.

Molly stood up from petting the goat and had walked over to Nico's side. "What are you so mad at, Nico?"

Nico frowned and looked down at the little girl beside her. From the mouths of babes…

* * *

So what exactly was she so mad at?

It wasn't Karolina. It wasn't even Xavin; not if she really thought about it. It was time. She was mad at time and change.

So Alex was evil and now he was ashes. Ashes in hell.

But why did Gert have to die?

And why did she and Karolina have to become so distant from each other?

After Alex had died and Gert and Chase had paired off like two hamsters on speed, she and Karolina had grown much closer.

Nico would wake up sobbing at night, the image of Alex's bones bursting into flame scorched on her mind. And Karolina would come to her. They would snuggle in bed and Nico would fall asleep against Karolina's warm neck.

In retrospect, it must have been pretty hard for K. She needed to be there as a friend but she wanted to be much more.

But what did Nico want? She had come to depend on this bond with Karolina. But even after then had kissed, and yes it as a fantastic kiss, she had never wanted anything more. She was pretty sure that wasn't something that was going to change. But it did a little.

Karolina was beautiful and kind and smart and… everything. But she didn't want to have sex with Karolina. She wanted to want to have sex with her. Nico scowled at the thought and kicked her bedroom door open. She threw herself face down onto her bed in an overly dramatic gesture.

If obsessed wasn't the word, maybe the word was selfish. She flipped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. If being gay were a choice she would choose Karolina. "Stupid genetics," Nico mumbled to herself, then felt instantly guilty as she remembered the bus full of mutant kids that had been blown up. Stupid genetics.

Nico closed her eyes. She heard the floorboards creek as somebody entered her room cautiously. The crappy bedsprings squeaked and moaned as that somebody lay down in bed next to her.

"What are you doing?" Victor asked in a hushed whisper.

Nico opened her eyes and stared up at the cracked ceiling, not looking over at him. "Being a fucked up teenager."

Victor just nodded. "Can I join you?"

Nico closed her eyes again and shook her head from side to side, "No, fuck-ups only."

"That's not a very exclusive club, Nico," Victor had scooted closer, she could feel his warm breath on his cheek. She turned her face to meet his, just inches away. Stupid boys, she thought as a small shiver went down her spine.

She turned her head away, pushing herself out of the moment. "What are the little kids doing?"

"Molly is painting OL, Klara is organizing the game drawer and Chase is eating that block of cheddar cheese you bought for taco night," Victor moved his arms up so they were crossed behind his head.

"Do you ever wonder who programmed you to like girls?" Nico asked as her eyes drifted closed.

"Uhhh…is that a trick question?"

Nico's eyes flew open as she realized the stupidity of the question, "Shit, oh, sorry. No. I didn't mean you you, I meant the general you."

"Oh, so like not the robot me but like the fucked up teenager you?" Victor asked with a sideways grin.

Nico blushed, relieved that he was taking it so lightly.

"Yeah in the face of all that crap I still believe in choice over programming," Victor answered with a sigh.

"Not everything is a choice, Victor," Nico answered.

"It is if you choose it, boss," he rose and patted her on the leg, moving out the door before she could respond to him.

* * *

She wanted more than anything to take her pizza and eat in her room alone. Alone, in the dark, sulking, with pizza.

Instead, she sat with the others around the kitchen table. Their messed up little family.

Old Lace noisily munched on a pepperoni stick by Nico's left side. Messed up little family plus terrifying Jurassic killing machine, she amended in her head.

Karolina and He-Xavin were sitting so close that they were practically on top of each other. Usually, Karolina only got that close to Xavin when he was a she. And, Nico admitted to herself, this was what was bothering her most of all. Karolina was choosing Xavin the person, or skrull or whatever. She wasn't choosing Xavin the hot girl. He or she, it was Xavin that Karolina was falling for. Or, already fell for. Nico caught herself staring at them and looked quickly around to be sure that nobody had caught her stare.

But Karolina had. The anger had melted and the only thing Nico now saw in her friends eyes was concern. Concern and sadness. Karolina really was the best of them. If the world was coming to an end, and all of them were going to die, Nico would choose Karolina to survive.

Klara giggled beside her and fed a spinach leaf to Old Lace and as Nico glanced down at the little girl she instantly felt like a monster. Nauseous, she set her pizza down and quietly excused herself from the table moving slowly and forcing a smile.

She made her way out, toward the back of their lair, up the winding path into the cool, breezy night. The city lit up the sky too much to enjoy the stars so Nico closed her eyes and pretended. She felt a tear tickle her cheek as it made its way down. The vision of Karolina shooting off into space, a falling star in reverse burst in her mind.

She wasn't at all surprised when she felt the warm, delicate hand brush against her neck and shoulder. She squeezed her eyes closed, hanging onto the thought that when she opened them, she would see love and happiness reflected back at her.

But when she opened her eyes, all she saw was concern and sadness.

"Why are you crying, Nico?" Karolina whispered as she lay an arm over her friend's shoulders and pulled her in tightly.

Nico only shook her head and looked back up at the stars. The sentiment was so cliche that Nico didn't want to voice it. She was crying for the past. Crying for a brief moment that would never again be repeated.

Karolina just squeezed tighter in response to the silence and began rocking them together, side to side. Nico closed her eyes and let herself be rocked.

"I wish-" Nico whispered.

"Shhh, I know," Karolina pushed her body closer to Nico, tilting her head in so it rested against Nico's.

Did she? Nico wondered. Did she know? I wish we never found out about our parents. I wish Gert was still alive. I wish Molly could grow up like a normal kid. I wish Victor's mom was never killed. I wish I never had to say the words 'try not to die' again. I wish I could be a lesbian and love you the way I know you love me.

But I can't. And I'm not.

The rocking had continued, slow and gentle. Karolina was humming now. A tune that Nico did not recognize. And she sang in a whispered voice, "You're asking me will my love grow. I don't know, I don't know."

Nico let herself be held and rocked. She slowly opened her eyes again, letting them adjust to the light. She stared up at the stars, choosing to ignore that feeling in the pit of her stomach and just focused on the warmth of her best friend beside her singing and rocking back and forth in the cool, breezy darkness.

End.


End file.
